Readers and followers

I know I said I was doing this for me, and I am. But on the other hand this blogging thing is addictive and I can't help but wish I had a follower or few. Someone to cheer me on and to know I am actually reporting "to someone" and not to the ultimate void. Something to help me stay on track.

Here it is 11:45am and even though I have already eaten more than I need to for the rest of the day, or at least it feels that way, I am thinking longingfully about lunch. And not about the PB&J on wheat and bottle of water that I packed myself this morning, but about the local chinese buffet or applebees and their trio appetizer or one of their pick n pair lunch specials or even one of thier 550 calorie meals. (Then I wouldn't feel quite so guilty right?) But I know I don't need the food and I also don't need to spend the money. I was planning on meeting my bf (not my husband (my VBF) but my bf from high school) for lunch tomorrow because tomorrow is my day to run errands all over town. But because my son was sick my hours at work this week were scarce and I have a few bills to pay. I don't need to spend the money on lunch. (Maybe if I keep telling myself that it will sink in). But on the other hand, today would be a perfect day to go eat something warm. It is rainy and cold and miserable outside. Which wouldn't be such a big deal if we didn't just get a taste of true spring weather earlier this week. Tomorrow is supposed to be nice and it is easy NOT to eat when I am busy running errands. But work is slow today and it is grey and food sounds wonderful.

Of course I know I am just doing what I always do when I decide to start a diet or to lose weight.

(I hate calling it a diet because even I know diets don't work it has to be a life change).

The minute I decide to lose weight, really lose weight I start craving all the things I know I should be avoiding. I tell myself well, one last meal or one last this or that won't hurt. Even though I know it will, even though I know better.

Oh well, I am done whining for now. Thank you to anyone who reads this for putting up with me. Keep the faith.


WLG